In my Tuesday Teaser Coaching Session, I share relevant information about how we are grieving the loss of “normal” life before coronavirus and how to find meaning in our loss. Join me in my video chat, or read the content below.
Hey travelers, it’s Dee Peel, professional certified Life Coach, and welcome to my Tuesday Teaser session. I say travelers because we’re all on a journey and it doesn’t matter what stage of life we’re in, with each curve we take, something is different around the corner. What we choose to do with that curveball makes or breaks where we are headed. I invite you to Take My Hand in this Tuesday Teaser and lighten the load on your trip.
This month, I am concentrating on fears, as they interfere with our journey and make us question our ability, judgment, thoughts, purpose, even the very nature of who we are. If allowed to continue, our fears, and losses, can stifle our desire to keep going, keep us stuck on the side of the road, and not allow us to arrive at our destination.
In preparation for this Q&A session, I asked last week “What have you lost in the world of coronavirus as we’ve been shut-down? What are you grieving?” If you wake up crying, go to bed crying, or find yourself sulking in solitude, you could be grieving. For me, about the 3rd week stuck at home, I wasn’t available to comfort anyone, write my blog, or contribute in any meaningful way. That is not who I am, so I knew I was grieving.
A young stay-at-home mom described it as the loss of time – for herself! She has a toddler and enjoyed moments of “me” time when she could leave him at the YMCA nursery for a few hours, or spend time with adults in her Mom’s group, away from the house. In lock-down, she could still take him outdoors on walks and let him run around in open fields, until, her city parks closed. What seems minor to most, is incredibly important to a mom who is on duty, inside her home, with an action-packed toddler! She is grieving loss of refreshing, relaxing “me” time.
I haven’t seen my kids, grandkids, siblings, mother-in-law, co-workers, women’s group, life group, church worship for a long time. We are ALL grieving the loss of “normal” life with physical connections, routine, gathering for meals, children playing with friends. We are all dealing with the loss of the world as we knew it, as a corporate group. It is gone, probably forever. We will live differently and that affects how we are feeling and behaving. We, quite literally, didn’t know what we had, until it was gone!
So, what do we do with this?
I mentioned last video I am a sponge for information. My way of processing is listening. I joined an online bible study to be better equipped at having a resolute faith through this unknown time. I also listen to many podcasts while I walk. I highly recommend Brene Brown’s “Unlocking Us” series, especially the March 31st conversation with David Kessler on “Grief and Finding Meaning.”
I love the way David explains, “Don’t compare losses. The worst loss is yours!” Our kids who don’t see their friends at school, aren’t having their long-awaited graduation ceremony, parties, or sports finals are absolutely grieving those losses. These are legitimate feelings. We try to explain it with “it’s for your safety, your health, your very life” – and that’s all true. But, for them, and really, for most of us, it is loss of connection to another human life and it affects us tremendously.
David Kessler also recommends finding meaning in your loss. That doesn’t mean bypassing your pain, so allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. If you don’t feel it, you can’t heal it! And he’s not referring to finding meaning in a death, or a loss, but what we do after that death and loss. It is what we can create that might give us a cushion in the process of grieving.
For instance, a wonderful neighbor started a Facebook group just to hear the needs of the people in our area so we can help each other. Most of us are working from home and are in a position to be available. The young mom of the toddler started a daily message on Instagram sharing tips of how she’s coping. A first-time mom celebrated her upcoming arrival with an online baby shower, sharing videos opening the gifts we sent to her. I order take-out from my local restaurants to keep them working and donated to my hairdresser as she closed her shop for a period of time. A friend visited someone who has been in distress with a physical ailment and simply sat at the end of her driveway so they could see each other and talk. These are simple ways I have heard people finding meaning in this crazy corona time, in addition to the many opportunities people have contributed locally, nationally, and worldly.
David Kessler continued with saying you find meaning in this loss by “taking care of each other. I feed you – you feed me.” He also said, “We are so busy chasing the extraordinary moments, that we miss the meaningful moments together.”
So tell me, how have you created meaning in your loss of normal?
If you need help with grief or loss of a loved one, relationship, career, empty nest, I have an additional certification in grief and loss and would love to talk with you. You can message me below or visit my website at takemyhandcoaching.com.
Next week’s Tuesday Teaser session will address surrendering your fears. Tell me how you have released a fear you once had, or what is your fear of surrendering fear? What will is cost you? Join me next Tuesday.
As you continue this life journey, traveler, let’s love and serve each other!