Wired Differently

Join me in my Tuesday Teaser Q&A session video as I share lessons I have learned about my relationship with Super Dad during the pandemic shut down. I also talk about how we are wired differently and that is OK! Or, you can read the content below.

Hey travelers, it’s Dee Peel, professional certified Life Coach, and welcome to my Tuesday Teaser session. I say travelers because we’re all on a journey and it doesn’t matter what stage of life we’re in, with each curve we take, something is different around the corner. What we choose to do with that change makes or breaks where we are headed. I invite you to Take My Hand in this Tuesday Teaser and lighten the load on your trip.

This month, I am concentrating on fears, as they interfere with our journey and make us question our ability, judgment, thoughts, purpose, even the very nature of who we are. If allowed to continue, our fears can stifle our desire to keep going, keep us stuck on the side of the road, and not allow us to arrive at our destination. My God-given purpose is to help you identify your fears, understand their origination, play the “what if” game of talking through that fear, and ultimately surrender it and move past the roadblock that keeps you stuck.

In preparation for this Q&A session, I asked last week “What are your fears in your relationship as you continue to stay safe at home OR you begin a new normal as the world re-opens?”

In my own journey for the first time in our 36 year marriage, Super Dad and I have been together 24 hours a day for 7 weeks. I often wondered what that would be like, as we look to retirement, and was a little fearful about how that would work with two very different personalities. We’ve always had careers and then children and now grandchildren and never had to spend all hours of every day together, rarely leaving our home to stay safe from the virus!

My personality is an information sponge with a mind constantly churning about “something.” His is completely comfortable not thinking about anything. You’ve probably seen the meme about a woman deep in thought with a mind going in several different directions, and then the man’s mind shows a dark, blank box of nothing! And understand, that’s not a bad thing, it’s just how some of us are wired differently.

In my prayer time in the morning, or as I prepare a coaching blog or class, I need complete quiet with no interruptions so I can connect with the holy spirit and concentrate on what I am feeling and thinking. I have the “squirrel” mentality that throws my mind off processing if someone walks by, or I’m looking outside and literally see a squirrel! When I pray, I have to write my prayers in a journal, looking down, so I stayed focused.

Super Dad likes to keep busy around the house and outside, keeping our lawn and property well groomed. He’s in motion a lot and we have an open-concept house, not really conducive to my need for quiet. And, he’s kind of a bull in a china cabinet, especially when putting something on our countertops that are stone. After these last few weeks, I’ve nicknamed him Col. Clank!

Last week I mentioned we need to take the lessons learned during our quarantine and use those to improve our “new normal” as we enter a new era with COVID-19. A lesson I learned is my usual annoyance of Col. Clank wasn’t as disruptive as it had been in the past. I have been pleasantly surprised at how patient and lighthearted I have been. Where did that come from? And then I realized, with classes, retreats, small groups, family visits, studies, and wedding planning all being on hold, my mind wasn’t drawn to so many different ideas of how I should be spending my time. My schedule was clear for me to be pleasant and jovial.

Isn’t that sad? I need to take this lesson learned and adjust what I am doing so my relationship doesn’t fall back into that trap!

Some fears are appropriate to keep us safe, like not stepping too far on the side of a cliff, or keeping a distance from a fire, or staying home to lessen the curve of COVID-19 cases. And they can teach us to do things differently for the good of the realm. I can’t say this strongly enough, that we need to listen, learn and change what needs to be changed when we emerge back into life, which will be different, and in many situations, should be different.

What will be different for your relationships as you enter your “new normal?”

If you need help, in addition to my 4-week class called Fight Your Fears, I do relationship coaching. I offer pre-marital coaching and relationships in distress coaching, using the SYMBIS Assessment curriculum. Let me know if you need help. Visit my website at takemyhandcoaching.com for more information.

Next week’s Tuesday Teaser session will address our grief in what we’ve lost during our world-wide shut down. What are the losses you have experienced that has affected your behavior? Leave your comments below or private message me.

As you continue this life journey, traveler, let’s love and serve each other!