When I get home, the first thing I do is kick off my shoes. My husband has made it clear he’d like me to put them away. When I didn’t, he would fling them into our closet. One time, they were hidden from me, as I couldn’t find them as I hurriedly left the house! I want him to stack dishes in cabinets so they can easily be found. I loudly voiced my incomprehension of how easy it is to stack smaller plastic containers or metal bowls into larger ones, an art he cannot master!
What is your expectation? What is your motive behind it? How are you communicating these desires to your partner?
As I work with clients in Relationship Coaching, we discover where these expectations come from in our family history. What did our parents do? In an assessment, we determine where the couple agrees, where compromise is needed, and when to be tolerant and let it go.
I still take off my shoes where I land when I get home, but, I’m cognizant of my husband’s communicated desires and put them away in a timely manner. He doesn’t get upset when he sees them laying there, showing tolerance and patience. He still cannot artfully stack dishes, after 35 years, so I release my perfectionistic attitude, stack them when I put dishes away, and don’t mutter anything under my breath. I let it go!
If you need ideas to communicate, compromise, and tolerate your expectations, contact me about Relationship Coaching.
Life Coach Dee Peel is a certified SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) and SYMBIS+ (for married couples or second marriages) facilitator. She is available for sessions face-to-face, by video chat, or in groups. For a free consultation, message Dee here or visit her website at www.takemyhandcoaching.com