How often have we heard “What’s wrong?” followed by our answer of “Nothing!” Why can’t he decipher what was said or done and just know? Why can’t he see or feel what I do?
I spent the first half of our marriage expecting my husband to know what was wrong. It landed us in therapy, in an attempt to save our marriage.
We are two very unique personalities comprised of experiences no one else has had. We are different by gender with two views. We have expectations of how our spouse should meet our needs. We have attitudes of marriage and relationships from our family origin that our partner may know nothing about. Our marriage is a unique union of these personalities which is like no other couple. And yet, we expect our mate to be just like us.
I had to learn to communicate my needs and explain how I was feeling and why. It was unrealistic for my husband to read my mind or successfully interpret my actions. I wanted him to make assumptions. He wanted clear directives. Understanding each other’s personality, attitudes, ability to adapt, conflict challenges, how we give and want to receive love, enables us to communicate our needs effectively.
Marriage isn’t a magic act. And he is not a stupid man! Help the poor guy out.