Negative thoughts can ruminate in my mind until I start believing them. I’ve worked hard to remove or relieve these lies, but they creep back into my head, sometimes with blunt force.
Therese J. Borchard, in the article linked below, explains “Ruminations are like a gaggle of politicians campaigning in your head. Try as you might to detach from their agenda, their slogans are forefront in your mind, ready to thrust you down the rabbit hole of depression. Logic tells you they are full of bull, but that doesn’t keep you from believing what they have to say.” So true!!
A coaching exercise I do with clients is to list these negative thoughts that churn in our minds: I can’t do it; I am too old; I am not smart; I am not good enough; I will never be happy; I am too fat; I’m a terrible mom/wife/daughter/sister/friend; I am not worthy.
I give a mirror to my client to say these things, out loud, to herself. It comes very naturally, easily, to tell ourselves these horrible lies! Then, I give them a picture of themselves as a little girl. I ask them, again, to tell that little one that she can’t do it, she’s not good enough, she’s not smart. As you can imagine, they can’t bring themselves to say those awful things to a precious little girl.
Then why would we say them to ourselves as an adult?
“Ruminations are, without doubt, moments of suffering. Self-compassion is your most powerful antidote,” says the author. Compassion is the reason we can’t tell that little one those lies – we don’t want to break her spirit.
We need to be compassionate with ourselves. Here are “9 Ways to Free Yourself from Ruminations” to combat our negative thoughts:
Little one – you are loved. Big one – you are too!